A lost reason Or a new one?
by Lilkate3321
Summary: How could he? Was I that horrible, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself? I winced in pain as the razor sliced deep into my wrist. The blood flowed freely and I just didn’t care anymore. reated m for future chapters
1. The end of no begining

Parings= Rosalie/Alice, Jasper/Edward, Carlisle/Esme, Emmett/Bella

Summery:

How could he? Was I that horrible, I wouldn't be able to live with myself? I winced in pain as the razor sliced deep into my wrist. The blood flowed freely and I just didn't care anymore.

Chapter 1

**Bella POV**

The bell had just ringed for school to get out and the herd of teenagers rushed to get to their cars, it was a nice day the sun was out, and Edward wasn't. I bided my goodbyes to my friends and headed to my faded red old Chevy. I got in it and put the key in the ignition, turning it to the right the engine roared to life. I put the clutch into reverse and backed out nearly hitting a Toyota Carola.

I pulled onto the main road and took off to the Cullen's._ I can't wait to see Edward, I've missed him at school today!_ We're the thoughts that flew freely through my head. I pulled into the familiar driveway almost completely hidden by trees parking in front of the front door. I stretched my legs and arms before hopping out of the seat of the car and walked up the 8 steps to the front door. I pushed the door open and looked around seeing an empty house.

I carefully walked the steps of the stairs until I reached Edward's room. I slowly opened the door and the scene that played out in front of me was heartbreaking. Jasper was laid across Edwards's bed, while he was pounding into his ass. My breathe caught in my throat and Edward looked at me in unison with Jasper. Edward quickly covered up and looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.

"How could you?" she asked, While the tears left stains on her cheeks. The love of her life was cheating on her. But even worse it was with another man. _I am that horrible? Am I that disgusting that I had turned my own fiancé queer? _Those were the only thoughts she could process.

"How long?" she asked staring at the **monster** in front of her. "HOW LONG! GOD DAMNIT!" She said breaking down sobbing.

"3 months" was all he said. She had to get away from this place it was killing her. She ran down the stairs, tripping over that last to scraping her arm on the banister. She could smell the vile smell of iron and salt, She cursed under her breathe and made it into her car and g-lining out of that place. She speed down the high way pushing 65 on her old Chevy, turning on the exit for Forks she slowed down a bit making it to her own house in a matter of minutes. She thanked god that Charlie wasn't home, he would have stopped her from what she was about to do.

She pulled into the drive way cutting the engine and jumping out of the car. She threw of her jacked and headed up to the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, of her tear and makeup stained face.

"You stupid greedy little BASTERD!" She called herself; she blamed herself and only herself for Edward becoming gay. She opened her cabinet and grabbed a bottle of alcohol and rubbed some on her wrist. She searched her bathroom drawers until she found it, a razor.

She shut her eyes before she sliced her wrist with the razor, she could feel the warm liquid running down her arm and dripping to the floor. She was losing blood quickly, the lights began to dim, and soon it was completely dark.

_OHHHH:__ sorry for the cliff hanger on the first chapter! COME AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!_


	2. Really? This is real?

Chapter 2

The blackness was becoming clear again and I could hear the faint booming of music in the background. I was aware that we were moving, probably in a car or something. The last thing I could remember was walking into the bathroom, and doing the horrible thing that I did. I very slowly started to become aware of a sharp throbbing on the left side of my head. "Ughh!" I moaned as the pain increased and I felt large cold hands on my leg. I quickly opened my eyes to see a worried looking Emmett facing me.

I looked at him and tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm alright…… well physically" I said looking at him tears welding up in my eyes. I sat still for a while leaning my throbbing head on the window, the green fields were passing by us quickly, and I could see the resins of cows grazing in the grass and horses trotting along joyously.

"Am I that repulsive?" I asked Emmett looking at him the tears already streaming down my face."Am I really that utterly discussing, that I turned the love of my life queer?"

The questions kept coming and never ending. A stern looked molded onto Emmett's face. And I could see him put dents in the steering wheel; I could see the anger pulsing through his body, his muscles tensing.

He turned to me "Bella look at me! You are way too good for that fag of a person." He let out a deep sigh. _Probably trying to calm himself and not break the car. _"You are a wonderful and caring woman, and he doesn't and never did deserve you."

He looked back to the road to make sure there was no traffic.

"But I thought her loved me? And he c-cheats on me with his brother!" I looked back out the window, I could feel the tears swelling up from my tear ducts.

"You are the most beautiful creature, I have ever met." He said soft taking my chin in his thumb and pointer finger

"And…I love you." He confessed looking into my eyes, and a look of regret appeared into his eyes.

"Ahh what the hell am I thinking! I don't deserve you!" He said looking back to the road.

"Emmett, I never thought it would come to this……But I think I love you too." I looked at him, scared that he would reject me, and afraid that he just had said that to make me feel better.

We were silent for the rest of the ride, without being aware of I doused off to sleep. I woke when my body told me we were no longer moving. I opened my deep brown eyes, to see that we were standing outside of a diner.

"Where are we?" I asked looking over at him and I couldn't help but smile at the stunning face. My eyes locked with his and a model like smile appeared on his.

"You need to eat, my little human!" he remarked, pointing toward the diner. He was out and opening my door, before I could even unbuckle.

"Your hand my lady" he said acting al polite. I gave him my hand and he helped me down out of the jeep. We joined hands and walked slowly to the door of the diner.

It was a small little joint, the kind you saw on old movies, where everyone knew each other, and were all friends. The walls were sky blue, and the booths a faded red color. I smiled as a waitress came over greeting us with a returning smile.

"Hello and welcome, to Dinners in a dash, will you please fallow me to your seat?" She said motioning us to one of the booths in the back. We took our seat, and the waitress handed us menus.

"Hello my name is Hana, and I will be your server tonight, What would you like to drink?" she asked looking from me to Emmett.

"I would like a Sprite please." I asked smiling at the woman, who looked to be in her early twenties.

"And I would like a Bud Light please." Emmett said looking to me and smiling.

"And would you like to order or would you like a minute?" she asked looking to me.

"Give us a few minutes please" Emmett said never taking his eyes off of me.

I smiled to her and turned my attention to Emmett who was sitting there smiling at me.

"Since when do you drink Beer?" I asked him looking like I was about to burst out laughing.

"_Sense_ always baby." He said giving me a little wink.

Hana came back with our drinks and took out a note pad.

"Are yall ready to order?" she asked pushing her pen to her paper getting ready to write.

"Yes, I'd like to have the turkey burger, and French fries please?" I asked folding up the menu and handing it back to her.

"And you sir?" Hana asked politely not ogling over Emmett like most women probably would have.

"I'll have a hot dog please." He said not looking at her but into my eyes as his alternative.

"Will that be all?" she questioned.

"Yup!" I said Smiling at her pretty face.

"So, what was all that in the car?" I asked Emmett looking at his dashing face.

"Because if your just fucking with me im going to go home right now!" I said tears coming back._ What if he didn't really like me? What if he was just fucking with me?_ Those were the thoughts that now cursed me, and I was terrified.

"Bella, do you really think I would lie to you?" He said, his darkened eyes piercing into my own. "Bella I really do love you, I wouldn't like about that."

_Thank god!_ Was the immediate thought that flew thru my busy head._ He really loves me._ My heart was beating franticly and Emmett looked worried.

"Are you alright?" He asked taking my little hand into his big one.

"Yes, I am just really relived that you love me." I said confessing my true thoughts.

I could see the waitress coming out way with our food. She smiled at us and put each basket with our food in front of us. Just the aroma of the food made my stomach growl.

"Eat!" Emmett said, looking quit worried.

"Alright! Alight!' I said picking up my turkey burger, taking a huge bit out of it. I ate it quicker than I though possible and felt stuffed.

I looked over to Emmett's plate and saw that he ate half his hotdog.

"Can I have the bill please?" He called over to Hana and she brought it right to us.

"Here you go sir." She said handing it to Emmett and he4r already had the money out and handed her a 50.

"Keep the change!" he said nicely to her as he helped me up out of my seat. We joined hands once moor and headed to the door. He opened the car door for me and lifted me up into the seat buckling me up. Before he was in on the other side, I was fast asleep.

**Soooo! What do you with. REVIEWS PLEASE!!!! TELL ME WHAT YOU want to happen in here, I am up for any suggestions.**


	3. Uhh Alice?

Chapter 3

Dreams came quickly that night. In the land of slumber, my mind wondered. But normally the star of would be Edward; but tonight they went.

_We were in a field and a soft breeze was blowing from the west. I was joined at the hands with Emmet and we were staring timelessly into each other's eyes. Slowly he lifted my hand to his mouth, and pressed his marble lips to my hand; smiling against my skin._

"Bella? Bella wake up!" I groaned as I squeezed my eyes shut tight and opened them again.

"Yes?" I asked as I turned to the angel sitting next to me on the huge bed. He was sitting there stunning as a person could get. It hurt to look at him. I sat there ogling at him.

"Bella are you ok?" Emmett asked worried.

"Umm what?" I asked shaking my head looking at him clearly again.

"I asked if you were alright." He said chuckling a bit, as he took a strand of my twirling it in his big fingers.

"Oh….yeah, I'm fine." I said as I sat up in the hotel bed, studying the familiar surroundings, the matching bed sheets and window curtains.

I was told by Emmett that he needed to go hunting so, I told him I was going to go take a shower. He left and I went into the average sized bathroom, stripping of my clothes, and setting up a towel. The last time I was in a bathroom alone, my plan wasn't anything related to hygiene, no my plan was to kill myself. I made my way over to the bath/shower and turned the knob for hot water, and waited. When it was cool enough I stepped into the shower, the hot water making contact with my tight muscles was, like a haven, in an untouched jungle, in the Amazon.

I took the little traveler sized bottle of shampoo, and squeezed some into my hand, and brought it up to my head, and started to lather it all into my hair, and rinse. While I was also in my shower I shaved my legs and washed everywhere. I grabbed the matching travel sized conditioner, and squeezed a quarter sized glob into my wet hand and lathered it into my hair. I waited a minute and turned on the cold water and winced when it hit my skin. I rinsed my hair till it squeaked, and I shut off the water completely. I grabbed my towel and started to dry off. All I had in the bathroom, was a pair of sweats and underwear. I pulled on the articles of clothing, and walked into the empty hotel room.

I made my way over to the bed and curled up into the blankets and and turned on the tv, searching through channels. I herd the door open and close rally quickly and didn't think much of it, until I was brought out of my zombie like state, from watching the TV, but a little black haired pixie like girl, jumping on the bed.

"ALICE!" I screamed as I jumped up and wrapped my arms, around my best friend and started to cry.

"Hey Bella!" she said back as she hugged me back.

I was completely suprized to see Alice, I had missed her sooooo much. Alice sat down and gave Bella the elevator eyes.

"Bella what are you wearing?!?!?" Alice said to Bella, disgusted by her old sweats.

"Err…my old sweats?" Bella said looking scared, knowing that Alice would swipe her away and take her shopping write there and now.

"We are going shopping NOW!" Alice said in a stern voice, taking my hand, and pulling me toward the door.

Me and Alice made our way down to her Yellow Porsche 911 Turbo, and pushed my into the passenger seat. She turned on the music blaring it loud, and sped off to the nearest mall. We pulled into the closest parking spot. While we were in the mall she pulled me into all the expensive stores dressing me , in all the expensive brands, and buying everything, like a kid in a candy shop. When she was done, she pulled me back to her car, and drove me to my hotel.

When we got back to our room, we were greeted by a not so happy looking Emmett.

**A/N:**

**Heyy guys, im sorry this chapter took so long, im just not motivated and lots of reviews gets me motivated. And I want to give Chimare-hana for the idea of Alice coming home. XDDD**

**Ps. Lots of reviews, gets quicker chapter!!!!**


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